The most head-scratching and laughable part of sports gambling is how simple it can be. Sports as a whole are a wonderful thing. But they can be incredibly stressful.

It’s straightforward, and rather irritating.

Let’s take a second to honor the guys and girls who care very little about sports.

They have it easy. They don’t spend their lives planning around that day’s big sporting event. They don’t constantly check their phones at social gatherings or escape to the bathroom during a wedding reception to watch the game-winning kick. They don’t annoy their significant others with night after night spent on the couch, transfixed on ESPN or which other abbreviated channel brings the latest and the greatest.

Being a sports nerd is a curse, and it affects so many. But as I’ve said before, they are my reality TV. At least everyone knows where I’m at, safe off the streets. It’s really a skill to be this invested in sports.

Which brings me to my next point – sports gambling is fun, but oh, boy, can it be irritating. This past weekend proved how much of a game of chance it really is, yet again. I went a disastrous 0-4 last weekend, this coming off my hottest weekend of the year. I went from a perfect record to a winless record.

To make matters worse, my 10-year old son, who’s never watched an entire football game in his life, was a perfect 2-0 with his picks. Shout out to the “Talking sports with an elementary student” segment on the Home Dawgs podcast, now available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify (Shameless plug).

That’s how fickle this game is, a young dude can rake while an idiot like me, who studies and listens to everything he can find, is crushed after Notre Dame gets curb stomped and ISU gets upset.

What a weekend.

But, hey, can we have a big comeback this week? I’m going to try and overcompensate for my most recent debacle and spew out my an extra pick or two, plus a bonus round.

Here we go:

Season record: 14-10

Last week: 0-4

Winners are in bold.

- Lines as of Tuesday, Oct. 29 at Draftkings Sportsbook

1. Florida (+6) vs. Georgia

Florida is a better team than people are giving them credit for. They played LSU really tough a few weeks back, and this is a huge rivalry game. Give me the Gators.

2. Parlay of the week: SMU (+5.5) at Memphis and OVER 70.5

There’s something I really like about Southern Methodist University and I don’t know why. Maybe I’m still hanging on to their dominant win over TCU. Maybe it’s the fact they can put up points with the best of them. Either way, I’m riding the underdogs and the over, which is higher than I usually like at 70.5, but these two teams can SCORE.

3. B-Hurl’s Spicy Mustard Lock of the week: Colts at Steelers (Pick 'em)

Here’s a wrench I’m throwing at you. The public is all over the Colts, and rightly so. For some reason, I don’t trust this odd line. Vegas knows something. And really, Pittsburgh hasn’t really played all that terrible. So take the Steelers to win it.

4. Texans at Jaguars (+2)

Gardner Minshew and his glorious mustache lost a barn-burner to the Texans a few weeks ago. I think the JJ Watt-less Texans finally hit a dry spell and the Jaguars get revenge. Plus, the public is all over Houston. Give me the freakin’ home ‘dogs!

Patriots at Ravens OVER 45

All this talk about New England having one of the best defenses ever. They’ve played one decent offense this year, and that’s the usual dumpster fire of the Cleveland Browns. Baltimore and Lamar Jackson have been torching defenses. I want to take the point spread, hell I’m even tempted to take the moneyline, but I’m playing it safe and going with the over. You can thank me later.

Bonus Pick: College Basketball: Iowa win total OVER 16

The Hawks have a decent roster with a lot of nice and new pieces. And the schedule lines up nicely as well, with a big chunk of winnable home games. I think the Hawks can easily get 17 wins. That’s basically asking Iowa to go .500. With a veteran coach at the helm, they should do this.

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